Since Knox is turing 2 this week I thought what better way to reminisce then to share all of my feelings of having him in my life the past two years. I love you my little Knoxie bear and you have changed my life forever and I will always love you for this. Here is a letter to you, my second born.
My Dearest Knox,
Out of all three of you boys, you were the only one your dad and I “planned”. I knew I wanted you. This doesn’t mean you are the favorite (whoever picks up their toys and pees straight in the toilet without peeing on the entire bathroom floor is my favorite for the day, just a hint in case you were wondering!) And finding out you were a boy was what really made my heart happy because I knew you and Kellan would be best friends for life. In fact I’m pretty sure I had to tell you this the other day when you were fighting, “You are brothers, that means you have a built in friend forever!”
For my entire pregnancy I was so scared to have you.
I honestly didn’t know if my heart was big enough to share my love with two little boys.
But the second I looked into your little face I knew it was.
I couldn’t stop kissing you. You were mine forever.
Your birth really tested me, physically and mentally. I honestly didn’t think I could bring you into this world with out some pain relief but to my complete surprise my brain told my body and I did. After a few big pushes you entered this world and I held you in my arms.
Bringing you home to meet your big brother was the best.
He wanted to do everything for you. Even help with changing your diaper!
The first few months were a blur. It’s hard on a mom having to adjust to two little kids under two years old. We managed. I was always a little sleep deprived but we made it through.
I didn’t get as much snuggle time with you like I did your older brother because I had to share myself with both of you, but I tried to make up for it when it was just the two of us.
Mommy and Knoxie dates are the best!
A few months before your first birthday I found out I was pregnant with your little brother. I was so scared and not prepared. Your brother was only 2 and you were 9 month old.
I felt that I didn’t get to have that special time with you. When I should have been focused on you I was too tired from being 4 month pregnant. Our one-on-one time got cut short and you were asked to grow up a little faster then you should have because you were now a big brother.
Over the past two years I’ve learned
You are my BIGGEST dare devil. If I let you, you’d jump off of everything.
And you have no fear. I admire that about you!
You may not have my dimples but your little smile warms up my heart
And your cheesy fake laugh makes me laugh. I hope to remember that little laugh forever.
You are my clumsiest child. I’m sorry but you honestly come by it naturally.
It’s almost as if you have two left feet.
You love to color and love to cuddle. You get so excited about some of the silliest things but that’s what I love the most. And you give the biggest squeezes around!
For you my son, I wish you a beautiful second year of life.
I hope we make some awesome memories together.
And learn to grow from one another.
I’m not perfect. I make mistakes.
Especially when it comes to raising you.
But one thing I know from one of your favorite books is
I love you yesterday, today, and tomorrow too.
Happy Second Birthday Big Boy
Mommy Loves you