Since Knox is turing 2 this week I thought what better way to reminisce then to share all of my feelings of having him in my life the past two years. I love you my little Knoxie bear and you have changed my life forever and I will always love you for this. Here is a letter to you, my second born.
Three years ago today, is the day that I officially was given the title, mom. It’s a job that I hold higher than anything I’ve ever before and I am so unbelievably thankful and extremely blessed that this beautiful little boy changed me forever.
Leading up to his birth, I was so nervous, excited, and scared shitless about giving birth to another human being. Like, I was absolutely terrified of having a baby! The thought of it made me cringe inside and I would sometimes out of no where just start crying because I was so scared of what was going to happen. A little side note, just so you know how scared I was, in high school we have to take a health class. I was 15 at the time and I remember we went over pregnancy and labor and delivery. They played a video of a women giving birth and I remember the baby wasn’t out yet and the mom was just pushing and pushing, finally the baby was crowing. At that moment I started to get light headed and I laid my head down on my desk and as the mother was screaming pushing that baby out I passed out and fell on the floor!!! My teacher had to stop the movie, turn the lights on, and call the nurse to come wheel me back to office so I could take a breather….THATS HOW SCARED OF GIVING BIRTH I WAS.
April 12th, 2014
It was a Saturday. I signed Ethan and I up for a free birthing class at the hospital just so we would have an idea of what was going to happen. I was 38 weeks pregnant and only 2cm dilated at the time. At the birthing class we learned a lot and saw some techniques to help labor move along at home. After the class we went to a local store and bought a yoga ball to help with labor. When we got home we just relaxed and hung out. Little did we know this would be our last night together at home just the two of us.
April 13th, 2014
The whole month of April I told Ethan we can’t go out of town, especially now because we were so close to my due date that we could have the baby at any time. Well Ethan left early that morning to go pre-ride a trail (mountain biking terms) that was 2 1/2 hours away. When I woke up that morning I wasn’t feeling well. Ethan was already gone and I wasn’t sure if I was having Braxton Hicks contractions or if they were real labor contractions. For some reason my pregnancy with Kellan I was obsessed with….Jack in The Box tacos! I know, so gross but I was seriously obsessed. So at 8 in the morning I left my house, drove to JITB, and order my tacos! I came home and ate, still not sure if I was having contractions or not, I laid around watching movies most of the morning. By afternoon my mom called me to see how I was doing. I told her I wasn’t feeling too well. I had an upset stomach and couldn’t tell if my body was getting ready for labor. She came over with my dad and my brother. I packed my hospital bag just in case today was the day! Nothing like waiting until the last minute to do these things. I went with my family to run some errands they dropped me back off at home. It was now mid afternoon. I was still laying around watching movies and having contractions. One of my girlfriends, who was also pregnant, had called me to see what I was doing. In the middle of our conversation I was having contractions and because I was home alone she came over in case I needed a ride to the hospital because Ethan was still out of town.
While she was here she took good care of me, timing my contractions, and just helping me with everything in general. We had a friend living in our casita at the time. He came in and was hanging out while I was having contractions and then we had couple other friends stop by because they needed to pick things up and they ended up hanging out too. It turned into a big labor party! haha. My contractions were not 4-5 minutes apart and Ethan finally got home! He loaded up the car and we drove to the hospital at 9:30pm. We checked in through the ER and they wheeled me up to labor and delivery. I thought because I labored at home all day long that I was for sure going to be dilated to 5cm. The nurse comes in and checks me and says I’m only at 2cm!!! I was dying! She told me I would stay an hour and if I didn’t change any they would send me home! An hour went by and I was now at 3cm. She said the same thing, if I didn’t change in an hour they would send me home. Another hour went by and she checked me again, I thankfully was now dilated to 5cm that they could admit me and got me a dang epidural!
I was now almost 1am and the anesthesiologist finally made it to the hospital to give me an epidural. I was so thankful because I was having such horrible pain. After a couple of hours and slowly dilating my nurse realized that the baby was facing the wrong way. His spine was facing my back and not my tummy. Because of this I was having so much back labor and that explained why I was in so much pain. I had to do everything I could to help rotate the baby otherwise we would have had to use forceps for delivery. So for the next 6-7 hours I was trying to rest while I could and do these crazy moves to help rotate baby around.
April 14, 2014
Finally in the morning when all of the new nurses came on shift we finally got the baby turned around and at 9:30Am I was finally ready to start pushing! Ethan, my mom, and dad ended up being in the room. I was so exhausted from the whole night that I pushed for 45 minutes. In between pushes I would fall asleep. They were having to wake me up to push. And at 10:15am, my little Kellan Cole was born. Weighing 6 lbs 7 oz and 19 1/2 in long.
Happy Birthday Baby Boy!