Follow:

They Call Me Mom

 

Having a baby is one of the scariest, most exciting, and best things that’s ever happened to me. It’s something a lot of women look forward to. Me, I never really knew that I wanted to be mom until I became one. Having kids wasn’t something I saw myself doing. Now that I am mom, almost 3x over, it’s something I wouldn’t trade for the world.

Do my kids test my patience, sure.

And do they make me want to hide in the bathroom sometimes for a minute of peace and quite, absolutely!

But when they learn something new for the first time, and want to cuddle with you, and wrap their tiny little arms around your neck and give you the sweetest kisses it makes you forget about all of the chaos that happened before that moment. 

  As we keep creeping up on this babies arrival I keep getting more and more nervous. I can’t help but wonder if I’m going to be a good enough mom to THREE little boys. 

 We’ve had a rough couple weeks to say the least. Like I mean one of those weeks were I’m asking myself..
What am I even doing? And how am I supposed to add a new baby into this mix?” 

You know those weeks, when you’re so hard on yourself as a mom, wife, daughter, or sister. When you feel like you’re so exhausted not just physically but mentally and everything feels like it keeps piling up on your shoulders. You feel like you’re not good enough or you should be doing better. Yeah that’s me right now!

 I’ve cried a whole lot recently just beating myself up left and right about everything. That I’m not good enough to be a mom to these boys. Some days I feel like I just can’t do this mom gig anymore because it stresses me out. The boys are always fighting with each other. The words stop hitting your brother is uttered from my lips more times then I can keep track of. I pick up the same toys over and over every.single.day. I find myself yelling a lot more and losing my patience with everyone. I keep telling myself this isn’t the mom I want to be and I’m going to work on it. I just can’t help but feel disappointed in myself and ashamed that I let myself act this way.  

But at the end of the night when I put my kids to bed, they remind me that they don’t see what I am seeing. They don’t see the hot mess express that I’m on, or that I haven’t cleaned the kitchen up from dinner, and that their laundry still isn’t put away. They don’t care that all three of us are still in our pjs from the night before. They see me cuddling with them while watching a movie, and reading their favorite Brown Bear What Do You See book for the 100th time that day, or that I laid in bed and asked them about their favorite part of the day and we talk about the adventures we’re going to go on tomorrow.

They remind me that I am good enough to be their mom and despite every single one of my shortcomings in life, that they love me regardless. The unconditional love that we have for each other is what makes these rough weeks that we have, not seem so bad. Tomorrow is a new day and fresh start mama. 

 

I can’t tell if it’s hormones or what but between being 8 months pregnant, Knox cutting four molars in 3 weeks, and Kellan doing who knows what, I’m ready for a HUGE glass of wine.

 

Share:
Previous Post Next Post

You may also like

18 Comments

  • Reply Kelsie

    Congratulations on your third on the way! so fun! The boys are adorable.

    July 10, 2017 at 11:13 pm
  • Reply Amanda

    I think the apprehension is normal as you get close to birth! The chaos unleashes as everyone senses something is changing and it’s hard! and molars are no walk in the park either. My kids were their grumpiest and naughtiest when the molars were coming in!

    July 11, 2017 at 12:51 am
    • Reply Hey Erin Nicole

      I think you’re right! I’m pretty sure I started to feel this way when my second one way coming. The hard part this time is instead of having one little one I have two now and they drive me double bananas! Those dang molars are the worst!!

      July 11, 2017 at 6:24 am
  • Reply Nicole

    I love this so much because I can relate to it so much! Trust me, you are NOT alone. Hearing things like this helps me a lot because I know that as mothers, we can support each other with all the many emotions of parenthood.

    July 11, 2017 at 2:52 am
    • Reply Hey Erin Nicole

      Right!? Thank you so much, I’m so glad I’m not the only one that feels that way. Sometimes you just feel so secluded when you’re really not!

      July 13, 2017 at 4:52 am
  • Reply Heydy

    You literally wrote everything I’ve been feeling lately. Im drawing close to my due date and with each and everyday I get more worried that wont be “mom enough” for my three boys!! I hope we both get some peace soon <3

    July 11, 2017 at 3:44 pm
    • Reply Hey Erin Nicole

      It’s so hard not to feel that way sometimes. I know once we see our babies all of those feelings will fade away!

      July 13, 2017 at 4:53 am
  • Reply Tayler

    I love being a mom of two. It’s definitely by far the hardest thing I have ever done, but also the most rewarding. Although, I do wish for naptime a lot.

    July 11, 2017 at 5:40 pm
    • Reply Hey Erin Nicole

      Girl, I live for that nap time!!! It’s crazy how you can love something sooo much but it drives you nuts at the same time!

      July 13, 2017 at 4:55 am
  • Reply Stefanie

    Those feelings are completely normal! You are going to be a great mom to three boys! XOXO

    July 11, 2017 at 5:54 pm
  • Reply Aseky Bonnaire

    I 1000% understand what you’re feeling. I’m a mom to three boys (ages 4,just turned 2, and 6 months old). Literally everything you said I’m like YESSS!
    You’re the perfect mama for those seeet boys! Congratulations, and your baby will be here before you know it. Enjoy these last weeks

    July 11, 2017 at 8:25 pm
    • Reply Hey Erin Nicole

      Thank you so much!!! It’s easy to start doubting yourself sometimes. These boys sure keep us on our toes huh!? Congrats to you as well!!

      July 13, 2017 at 4:59 am
  • Reply Kristen

    We always feel as though we are falling short with our children.
    But, we dont realize that they don’t see the bad we see. They just need our love and support.

    July 12, 2017 at 1:20 pm
    • Reply Hey Erin Nicole

      Couldn’t have said it better myself! We are way harder on ourselves that’s the hard part!

      July 13, 2017 at 5:00 am
  • Reply Kerry

    You sound like an amazing mama! Your boy’s are lucky to have you. Good luck with number #3! That’s so exciting.

    July 12, 2017 at 2:36 pm
    • Reply Hey Erin Nicole

      Thank you so much! That’s so sweet of you! Can’t wait until he gets here.

      July 13, 2017 at 5:01 am

    Leave a Reply

    Follow my blog with Bloglovin